The Marketplace Invitational
A Gentlemen's Rally (For the Boys)

A grand tour, conducted entirely in the wrong cars.

Three days and four states: Michigan, Ohio, West Virginia, and Kentucky, then the long road home. Every car a pre-2010 marketplace find bought for $3,500 or less, salvage titles worn with pride. Scored every mile, settled at last light.

June 26–28MI · OH · WV · KY$3,500 MaxNine Cars
The field is set  ·  Flag drops June 26
Meet the Field See the Scoring
The Rally / 001

The point, as ever, is the wrong car.

Every machine on this grid was found on the marketplace, bought for $3,500 or less, and built before 2010, back when a car was still just a car. A salvage title is no disqualifier here; it is a credential.

Over three days, the field runs from Michigan down through Ohio to West Virginia, on to Kentucky and Louisville, then the long haul home. Scored the entire way. Points for being old, frugal, and improbably quick; penalties for the things these cars do best: breaking down, lighting the dash, and disgracing themselves in front of a crowd. Then nationality multiplies the whole affair, for better or for considerably worse.

The cars are bought and the titles are in hand. What remains is the small matter of getting them there. And then, circumstances permitting, home again.

"Have fun & don't die."The Final Word, Official Rule Book
The Route / 002

Three days, four states, and the long way home.

From OOOG to the Triple Nickel and the Mothman, down to Louisville, then the run north before anyone’s luck runs out.

Day One · Friday, June 26Michigan → West VirginiaThe Triple Nickel run.
Birmingham, MI · Start

Out of Office Garage

Roll-out. Tech inspection, the grid, and the first cold start of the weekend.

Mansfield, OH

Ohio State Reformatory

The gothic prison that played Shawshank, a suitably dramatic place to count who’s still running.

Zanesville, OH

Through the Y-Bridge Town

South into the Ohio back roads.

Ohio

Brush Creek

Crooksville, OH

Deavertown Baptist Church Cemetery

Malta, OH

Adams / San Toy Covered Bridge

A historic covered bridge worth slowing for.

Chesterhill, OH

The Triple Nickel 555 Sign Posts

The legendary dual OH-555 markers, and the gateway to the best driving road in the state.

Driving Road
Chesterhill, OH

Triple Nickel Diner

Pie, coffee, and a breather midway down the 555.

Little Hocking, OH

The Triple Nickel at US-50

Where the 555 finally lets go.

Driving Road
Parkersburg, WV · Overnight

The Blennerhassett Hotel

A grand Victorian hotel, and the night’s reward for every car that made it this far.

Day Two · Saturday, June 27West Virginia → KentuckyRiver towns, the Mothman, and a run for Louisville.
Long Bottom, OH

Long Bottom

Back into Ohio, hugging the river.

Pomeroy, OH

Pomeroy

An old Ohio River town wedged between the water and the hills.

Point Pleasant, WV

Mothman Museum

Point Pleasant’s monster-in-residence, and a mandatory photograph with the chrome Mothman.

Oak Hill, OH

Oak Hill

Maysville, KY

Maysville

Across the Ohio and into Kentucky.

Owenton, KY

Owenton

Pleasureville, KY

Pleasureville

Yes, that is the real name.

Louisville, KY · Overnight

Louisville

Bourbon, the Derby city, and one last night before the long way home.

Day Three · Sunday, June 28Kentucky → MichiganThe long haul home.
Louisville, KY · Depart

The Run North Begins

Coffee, aspirin, and a long, honest look at the map.

Birmingham, MI · Finish

Out of Office Garage

Back where it began. Tally the points, hand out the brass, and settle every debt of bravado from the road.

Scored en routeAutocross, 0–60 & 60–0 at the roll-out  ·  the fuel check at the midpoint  ·  breakdowns, all the way down  ·  burnouts before the run home.
The Rules / 003

Eleven rules. Most of them about not dying.

Straight from the official rule book. Bend the spirit, not the safety.

01

Vehicle Type

It has to be a car. Four wheels, a windshield, and a gas, diesel, or hybrid heart. That's the whole bar.

02

Purchase Price

$3,500, out the door, maximum. Cheaper is better; the scoreboard rewards every dollar you didn't spend.

03

Car Age

Pre-2010 only. The older the machine, the bigger the points: 100 of them for every year before 2010.

04

Legality

Must be registerable in the state of Michigan. Salvage titles aren't just OK; they're encouraged.

05

Vehicle Status

No check-engine lights at the start line. What the dash does after the green flag is your concern alone.

06

Operability

Driveable and fully operable at the point of purchase. It must have moved under its own power at least once.

07

Safety & Maintenance

Upgrades and upkeep don't count against your $3,500, and are limited to tires, brakes, body and suspension attachments, fluids, and ignition or fuel-system tune-ups.

08

Spare Parts

Anything that counts as maintenance is fair game: coil packs for the Audi 1.8T, oil for the cars that drink it, a spare tire. It all rides in the car with you.

09

Tools

Bring the whole set. Like the spares, every wrench is transported inside the vehicle.

10

Buy-In

$500 per team. It funds the trophy and the cash for first, second, and third.

Have fun & don't die.

Scoring & Multipliers / 004

How to win in the worst possible car.

Objectives & Base Scoring
Car Age+100 for each year older than 2010.
Autocross+1000 1st  ·  +250 2nd  ·  +250 most amusing run.
0–60+1000 1st  ·  +250 2nd  ·  −1000 last.
60–0+1000 1st  ·  +250 2nd  ·  −1000 last.
Fuel Economy+100 per MPG over 20, measured at the rally's midpoint.
Best Burnout+500 for the burnout of the weekend.
Cigar+25 for each cigar smoked in the vehicle.
Worst Burnout−150 for the burnout best left unattempted.
Check-Engine Light−100 every time the light pops up.
Breakdown−500 for each breakdown.
Cost SavingsTiered bonus for a cheaper car. See the ladder.
Brand Multiplier
Italian2.0×
French1.65×
British1.4×
German1.25×
Swedish1.25×
Korean1.15×
American1.0×
Japanese0.85×
Cost Savings Ladder
$3,000 or moreNo bonus
$2,500 – 3,000100 / $100
$2,000 – 2,500125 / $100
$1,500 – 2,000150 / $100
$1,000 – 1,500200 / $100

Score at your own risk

The Field / 005

Nine cars. One very optimistic itinerary.

The grid is locked: every machine bought, every title in hand. Nationality sets the multiplier; age sets the early lead. The rest is up to the road.

2006
German · 1.25×
Volkswagen Beetle
A people's car, now priced for the people who couldn't quite afford it new. Cheerful to a fault.
+400 age points before the flag
1991
British · 1.4×
Sterling 827SI
Rover's walnut-and-tweed take on the Honda Legend. It depreciated faster than it could corner.
+1,900 age points before the flag
2003
American · 1.0×
Mercury Grand Marquis GS
Body-on-frame, bench-seat Americana. Floats like a yacht, priced like a dinghy.
+700 age points before the flag
2000
German · 1.25×
BMW Z3
The gentleman's roadster, finally relaxed into the gentleman's-budget bracket.
+1,000 age points before the flag
Paper Favourite
1985
French · 1.65×
Renault Alliance
French by design, built in Wisconsin, still somehow here. The oldest car on the grid and the best multiplier on it. On paper, the one to beat.
+2,500 age points before the flag
2006
German · 1.25×
Mini Cooper
Small, sharp, and quicker through a bend than the price tag admits.
+400 age points before the flag
TBC
German · 1.25×
Mini Cooper
The second of the pair. Double the charm; double the head-gasket suspense.
Year to confirm
1992
American · 1.0×
Buick Riviera
A 1992 personal-luxury coupe riding on gold Dayton wires; the boulevard cruiser that took a wrong turn into a rally.
+1,800 age points before the flag
TBC
German · 1.25×
BMW 318
The thinking man's entry BMW, depreciated gracefully into the people's hands.
Year to confirm
09
Cars on the Grid
04
States Crossed
$3,500
Spending Cap