Three days and four states: Michigan, Ohio, West Virginia, and Kentucky, then the long road home. Every car a pre-2010 marketplace find bought for $3,500 or less, salvage titles worn with pride. Scored every mile, settled at last light.
Every machine on this grid was found on the marketplace, bought for $3,500 or less, and built before 2010, back when a car was still just a car. A salvage title is no disqualifier here; it is a credential.
Over three days, the field runs from Michigan down through Ohio to West Virginia, on to Kentucky and Louisville, then the long haul home. Scored the entire way. Points for being old, frugal, and improbably quick; penalties for the things these cars do best: breaking down, lighting the dash, and disgracing themselves in front of a crowd. Then nationality multiplies the whole affair, for better or for considerably worse.
The cars are bought and the titles are in hand. What remains is the small matter of getting them there. And then, circumstances permitting, home again.
"Have fun & don't die."The Final Word, Official Rule Book
From OOOG to the Triple Nickel and the Mothman, down to Louisville, then the run north before anyone’s luck runs out.
Roll-out. Tech inspection, the grid, and the first cold start of the weekend.
The gothic prison that played Shawshank, a suitably dramatic place to count who’s still running.
South into the Ohio back roads.
A historic covered bridge worth slowing for.
The legendary dual OH-555 markers, and the gateway to the best driving road in the state.
Driving RoadPie, coffee, and a breather midway down the 555.
Where the 555 finally lets go.
Driving RoadA grand Victorian hotel, and the night’s reward for every car that made it this far.
Back into Ohio, hugging the river.
An old Ohio River town wedged between the water and the hills.
Point Pleasant’s monster-in-residence, and a mandatory photograph with the chrome Mothman.
Across the Ohio and into Kentucky.
Yes, that is the real name.
Bourbon, the Derby city, and one last night before the long way home.
Coffee, aspirin, and a long, honest look at the map.
Back where it began. Tally the points, hand out the brass, and settle every debt of bravado from the road.
Straight from the official rule book. Bend the spirit, not the safety.
It has to be a car. Four wheels, a windshield, and a gas, diesel, or hybrid heart. That's the whole bar.
$3,500, out the door, maximum. Cheaper is better; the scoreboard rewards every dollar you didn't spend.
Pre-2010 only. The older the machine, the bigger the points: 100 of them for every year before 2010.
Must be registerable in the state of Michigan. Salvage titles aren't just OK; they're encouraged.
No check-engine lights at the start line. What the dash does after the green flag is your concern alone.
Driveable and fully operable at the point of purchase. It must have moved under its own power at least once.
Upgrades and upkeep don't count against your $3,500, and are limited to tires, brakes, body and suspension attachments, fluids, and ignition or fuel-system tune-ups.
Anything that counts as maintenance is fair game: coil packs for the Audi 1.8T, oil for the cars that drink it, a spare tire. It all rides in the car with you.
Bring the whole set. Like the spares, every wrench is transported inside the vehicle.
$500 per team. It funds the trophy and the cash for first, second, and third.
| Car Age | +100 for each year older than 2010. |
| Autocross | +1000 1st · +250 2nd · +250 most amusing run. |
| 0–60 | +1000 1st · +250 2nd · −1000 last. |
| 60–0 | +1000 1st · +250 2nd · −1000 last. |
| Fuel Economy | +100 per MPG over 20, measured at the rally's midpoint. |
| Best Burnout | +500 for the burnout of the weekend. |
| Cigar | +25 for each cigar smoked in the vehicle. |
| Worst Burnout | −150 for the burnout best left unattempted. |
| Check-Engine Light | −100 every time the light pops up. |
| Breakdown | −500 for each breakdown. |
| Cost Savings | Tiered bonus for a cheaper car. See the ladder. |
Score at your own risk
The grid is locked: every machine bought, every title in hand. Nationality sets the multiplier; age sets the early lead. The rest is up to the road.